Again

Tomorrow is another surgery for me. This will be my third on my knee.  I am having more problems because of my chronic illness and medications that cause me to not heal like your average bear. But it is cool, it is my life and I’ve learned to roll with the punches. I have constant support from my family and my close girlfriends are always awesome. Especially my lupie sister, Stacey, she is almost an extension of me because we go through alot of the same issues. I am nervous, I am not going to lie, but it is in God’s hands, the best hands. I haven’t written in awhile, I really don’t know why, I really haven’t felt inspired or motivated. My life is headed in a different direction. I am able to do things that I never dreamed of and it’s exciting. Still dealing with lupus everyday dampers it just a bit, but I am learning to really appreciate my good days. It is a process but I am coming along. I feel as though God is handing me a new life on a platter with a note stating “What are you going to do with it”?  My cousin, Keith, recently died and he suffered an accident years ago that unfortunately ended his marriage, his career, and ultimately his life. But while he lived he truly lived. We were not close but we had a connection that I believe we both felt. I mention him because, I want to live my life because he can’t, I am here and he isn’t.  There is a reason for that. I had no clue this post was going to go in this direction, but I type as I feel. Wherever my mind goes is where my fingers go. Some people don’t understand blogs and writing online and sharing with others. I try to explain in this way. For me, I am unable to get out and socialize alot and this is my way of keeping that part of my life alive. And I love to write and it is therapy for me. What I do is not for everyone to get and I don’t get what others choose to do. We all simply do what makes us happy and makes us feel good and hopefully have no regrets. Well, maybe a few regrets that at least we can live with.